• Jeff2Serve an hour ago

    Thanks a ton for all the comments, and the particular stories. I really wonder if I would just bring the old self along, therefore why go through the hassle of moving if it is not required for work. Maybe try to find new paths where I live.

    • mindwork 9 hours ago

      Ever since I've been very young I wanted to live in the global West. At first England, then USA became more lucrative place. I've spent 10 years trying to move to USA. Sacrificed a lot for it. Lots of self doubt, whether I can make it? Is it a right decision? What about my friends and family? I knew about some of the problems before I moved, but obviously not all of them.

      I moved to San Francisco about 5 years ago. I can tell you, it was all WORTH IT! I'm still amazed by the city and the life around me. 5 years later it still impresses me. I feel like I'm living in a movie, and I'm a main character in a movie! I became a better version of myself. I can't imagine being myself if I'd stay back in my country.

      p.s. those are my feelings. Obviously life around me is not ideal. There is no such place as ideal, but it works for me despite many-many-many problems that I have in my life right now.

      • quietforgelabs 3 hours ago

        I moved around to different cities quite a bit when I was growing up. Maybe it was because my personality was still forming, but I learned how to naturally adapt to new environments.

        Perhaps because of that background, I’m fundamentally someone who embraces change. I’m always striving to become a better person through trial and error. Because I keep evolving, there’s sometimes a disconnect when old friends expect me to be the person they knew long ago, and I used to struggle with how to handle that.

        Putting yourself in a new environment means you get to leave behind everyone's preconceived notions of you, both the good and the bad. It’s a bit scary, but it’s incredibly meaningful to have a clean slate to work on yourself. You might not be able to completely change who you are overnight, but starting with small, incremental changes is definitely possible, isn't it?

        • SenHeng 9 hours ago

          I moved from Singapore to Japan in expectation of a better, free-er life and those expectations have been met. I have a house on fairly large piece of property that belongs to me. I have two cars that I often go for long drives on. Things that would be close to impossible back in Singapore.

          I've also moved internally within Japan multiple times each time for better job prospects and those have also turned out well.

          The one thing that hasn't changed much is myself. I'm not a social person and take time to get used to people. Particularly, I don't enjoy alcohol and thus do not frequent the local drinking holes. That has definitely had an effect on my social circle.

          I have only one advice for you, if you're expecting change, you have to be prepared to change yourself too.

          • wojciii 9 hours ago

            I'm not American. But anyway. I moved to another town 100 km away from the one I grew up in.

            I had no friends there and was bored so I started dating* and doing sports. I was lonely and miserable for a while until I met my wife. From this time my life started making more sense.

            The change of scenery helped. Had I stayed I would probably still be single and complaining about not meeting anyone interesting.

            * The dating itself was a miserable failure, but I met a woman offline by chance who didn't do online dating.

            • maheenaslam 7 hours ago

              Moving does shakes things up, but not always in the way you expect. New environment gives you fresh energy and perspective, but a lot depends on how much you actively change your routines and habits. Just relocating isn’t enough your mindset and actions make the real difference.

              • rationalist 11 hours ago

                Unless you have scaffolding, it's risky. Scaffolding can include a solid job (one where you aren't going to be downsized a month after moving there), family, or you're from the area in the past.

                It will be important to make friends quickly.

                I've seen too many people who want to "start over" by moving, then crash and burn because they don't have any realistic plans or contingencies (which can include money - moving is expensive, especially if you don't have a job).

                • RicoElectrico 12 hours ago

                  Moved from Gdynia to Warsaw in pursuit of a job. Left the family and friends, made me lonely. I suppose this is down to particular company culture. I used to work at an American corporation and we often socialized after work. In the new job, while people are as fiendly as there, there's no will to meet up outside the office. Bummer.