I know nothing about this author, but this reads to me a lot like late Philip K Dick but without the "what is real" element. After his religious event in 1974, he wrote some real bangers - A Scanner Darkly, Valis, The Divine Invasion - alongside his religious exegesis. This feels a bit like an alternate timeline where PKD saw even more drugs as the way to chase this feeling, but somehow came out the other side.

I really enjoy well-written accounts of experiences very different from anything I've encountered in my own life.

I enjoyed the writing in this a lot; I'll check out the book.

For me, this text fails the "bridge-building" test of communication. Because it talks about a subjective experience inaccessible to anyone else than the author, it's hard to engage with it.

So I have to wonder who is it for? The author herself? Why publish and share it then?

There are no gods ... the very concept is incoherent. There are, rather, narratives that our brains create (or that are provided to us) which can seem very convincing, especially if the verification processes in our brains are turned off or bypassed--as happens during dreaming, with some drugs, in trance states, from social pressures and practices of some cults and churches, etc. And even our normal conscious verification processes can be fooled--overcome by illusions and "hallucinations", misperception, déjà vu, etc.

> I don’t know if everything happens for a reason

Another incoherent notion--events are locally caused, but there are no free-floating global "reasons". Aside from the sense of physical causation, reasons are intentions by intentional agents, e.g., we offer reasons for our beliefs and actions. Lacking an accurate metaphysical framework can apparently cause one to seek "God" via a tank of nitrous oxide that results in taking the narratives one's brain generates as being inherently veridical.

Drivel. I would rather read clanker nonsense than this. And if it turns out that this is clanker generated, then I,m disappointed in the LLM.