« BackI'd tell you a UDP joke…codepuns.comSubmitted by redmattred 4 hours ago
  • LeoPanthera 2 hours ago

    "Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."

    "Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

    "Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."

    "OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke."

    "Ok, I will hear a TCP joke."

    "Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"

    "Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."

    "Ok, I am about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline."

    "Ok, I am ready to get your TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have an explicit setting, and ends with a punchline."

    "I'm sorry, your connection has timed out. Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

    • Izmaki 7 minutes ago

      This one is the only one among the 10+ I browsed through on the website and read in the comments that actually made me laugh. Good one! Thanks for sharing. :)

    • dmurray 2 hours ago

      I was asked in an interview to explain the difference between TCP and UDP.

      I knew about enough to fill an index card: enough for an adequate interview answer, but not enough that I would relish getting follow-up questions.

      While deciding what to say I started with this joke. The interviewer laughed and moved on to the next question. I got the job offer.

      • divbzero 2 hours ago

        Or alternatively:

        > I would UDP joke tell you a… but you get it might not.

        • Neywiny 2 hours ago

          Or alternatively:

          > I would UDP joke tell you a… but you get it might not.

          • kuekacang 23 minutes ago

            > A UDP joke I would tell you... but you might get it not

          • bigstrat2003 25 minutes ago

            I can tell you a DNS joke, but be aware that it might take 8 hours for everyone to get it.

            • charcircuit 42 minutes ago

              You can't guarantee delivery of any message. This is the basis of the 2 generals problem.

              • travisd 3 hours ago

                packets udp bar walk a into

                • blorenz 3 hours ago

                  This was out of order.

                  • redmattred 3 hours ago

                    Well played

                  • memset 3 hours ago
                  • senthil_rajasek 3 hours ago

                    Here is an ICMP joke,

                    - Knock Knock

                    - Who's there?

                    - Thank you

                    • redmattred 3 hours ago

                      If you want to hear a great ICMP joke just ping me

                      • burnt-resistor 3 hours ago

                        Failed to shout it loud enough to make an echo. It TTL'ed 3 hops away.

                      • mlhpdx 3 hours ago

                        There are two kinds of people when it comes to UDP.

                        • lucb1e an hour ago

                          Which are those?

                          Btw, it reminds me of "10 kinds of people, those who understand binary and those who don't"

                        • CPLX 2 hours ago

                          I'd share my joke about HTTP here, but it makes me feel insecure.

                          • lsc4719 2 hours ago

                            Mix it with TLS joke

                          • blacklion 3 hours ago

                            There was list of such jokes for 40+ protocols, past and present, but I cannot find it anymore, only small part on different blogs and forums :(

                          • Polizeiposaune 3 hours ago

                            IP UDP we all P for TCP

                            • irishcoffee 3 hours ago

                              I think I prefer the punchline “I don’t expect you to get it, and it’s not a big deal if you don’t, happens to everyone”

                              • burnt-resistor 3 hours ago

                                Put a cork in it.

                                • damnitbuilds 3 hours ago
                                  • Gibbon1 3 hours ago

                                    ght get it liYou mike this though

                                    • MarkusWandel 3 hours ago

                                      "get not you might it but"